Lost and Heartbroken

Lost in this lonely world

I am lost now

I am without what I once knew

Everything has changed

And not for the better

Life is sometimes too much to handle

I cannot grasp what is happening around me

It's like a bad nightmare that I cannot seem to wake up from

My world is spinning out of control

She cheated on me for 2 months with a man

A man that is now her boyfriend

She lied until I finally got it out of her

Now all I am to her is her "best friend"

Yes it is true, she knows me better than anyone else

She knows me better than my own parents know me

Yes, she is my best friend

But I always wanted to be more than that

And we were for the last 4 years

Until she decided to cheat on me with a man

The grass isn't always greener on the other side

And maybe she'll see that

I do believe in Karma

The good kind and the bad kind

She has hurt me so

And broken my heart into a million pieces

And I believe if she is due bad karma for the hurt that she has caused me

Than so be it, I have no control of the Karma that she receives

I do not wish bad upon her

I want her to be happy

Even if it is not with me

However, a part of me wishes that she ends up not happy with him

A part of me wishes that it doesn't work out with him

Not necessarily so she can come back to me

But so she can understand what it feels like to have your heart ripped out of your chest

So she can understand what it feels like to have your heart broken into a million pieces

A part of me wants her to feel the pain that she has caused me

A part of me wants her to feel heartbreak

But I am a good person

And I do not wish ill on anyone

I want everyone to be happy and loved

I am just not a person like her that can hurt others intentionally

My world has become nothing but darkness

And I don't know how to cope

I try to live life one day at a time

But my life without her, without us as a couple

Saddens me and breaks my heart even more

We still live together and living with her

Knowing that she is not mine and that she is with someone else

Kills me all over again

The pain I feel is unbearable

And indescribable

I know life will go on

But I don't want life to go on without her

While she is my best friend and unfortunately that's all

And she is still living with me

I know one day she will move away to be with the man she left me for

And my heart will break all over again

My world will be shattered into a million pieces all over again

And I will lose her completely, forever

I can't cope or grasp this whole situation at all

Is this what dying from a broken heart feels like?

If so I don't want to live anymore

Thunderstorm

Thunderstorm

By: Aiden Kirchner 2018

I could feel a Thunderstorm coming

my knees had started to ache

the thunder, lightning and rain

was on its way, if it hadn't already came

I decided to go outside

The sky was black as night

the birds were no longer in sign

the trees had begun to shake

as the wind picked up

the leaves were being blown about

I could feel the boom of the thunder hit

as I was standing on my deck

and I felt the vibration

The rain started pouring down quickly

huge raindrops pounding against the ground

I could feel them on my shoe

They felt like needles jabbing my foot

Positive Thinking

POSITIVE THINKING

©️AIDEN KIRCHNER

Learn from yesterday, love for today, hope for tomorrow

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;

what is essential is invisible to the eye

You have the power to say, this is not how my story will end

A change may be just around the corner

Change can be good, think positive

DO EPIC SHIT

Kindness is magic, spread that shit everywhere

Collect adventures, not things

Leave with the memories because you can't take your possessions with you when you die

Remember, you are magic

But think positive, don't believe the negative things that you think

Find a reason to smile, there's always a reason to smile

Dream it, wish it, and do it!

No act of kindness is ever wasted, do for others,

even if they can't repay you

Pay it forward, its about caring and sharing, compassion and kindness

It's about generosity, it's about sacrifice, and love

You get what you give, so give good, love hard

Get Fired Up

GET FIRED UP

©️AIDEN KIRCHNER

Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be

The creative adult is the child who survived

We declare the world as our canvas, the earth without art is just 'eh

Revolution

Don't be scared to be a bitch, maybe it is only your definition

and not the truth of who you are!

Be yourself, stand up for yourself!

Don't just be another brick in the wall

DO EPIC SHIT!

Are you the fire or just another flame?

I'm the fire that burns, you can't put me out

Are you who you want to be?

You're never too old or too young to DREAM BIG

Don't die wondering

Your comfort zone will kill you

The quickest way to acquire self confidence is to do

exactly what you are afraid to do

Follow your dreams

GET FIRED UP! 

Fight For What's Right

Fight For What's Right

©️AIDEN KIRCHNER

Migration is not a crime

We all bleed the same

I see humans but no humanity

Change the rules, shake things up a bit

Create chaos and disorder

Stand up and fight

Work-Buy-Consume-Die

It doesn't have to be a never-ending cycle

Be the change you want to see

We can't feed the poor but we can fund a war

and send our soldiers oversees to die because of your greed

STOP THE BULLSHIT!

You = resistance

Free your mind, kill your TV

Why pay to live on a planet we were born on?

Hungry? Eat the rich, they are the worst

I've seen more that would scare them to death than they have

in their entire pampered life

Fight for what's right or don't get in the way of those who are

Welcome To Reality

Welcome to Reality

©️AIDEN KIRCHNER

I feel bad for the people who never go crazy

Being normal is no fun

My memory is fading and I only feel present half the time

How we survive is what makes us who we are

We are all fighting a battle others may not see

Why are we still waiting for our lives to start?

Art and Writing should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable

You don't like my writings??

You should try living a day in my head

I guarantee you will be glad its me and not you

She was fragile, like a bomb, not a flower

Music, Art, Writing, it connects people

Depression is like drowning except you can see everyone else

around you breathing

Life is a beautiful struggle

She was like the moon...

Part of her was always hidden

Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul

A nightmare that won't go away

Welcome to reality

Mental Illness

Mental Illness

©️Aiden Kirchner

How do you run from what's inside your head?

Tormented by her own mind

It was her chaos that made her beautiful

And it all starts with a few innocent scratches

The war is in my mind, and the wounds are on my body

Never underestimate how much pain somebody has to be

to put a razor to their wrist,

a finger to their throat,

a gun to their head,

or a pen to 'that' note.

Tormented by my own mind

I'm being murdered by my own mind, mental illness

people aren't born broken

they start with a passion and yearning

until something comes along

that disabuses them of those notions

Just because someone is trying

doesn't mean they're okay

Depression, mental illness is like

having an abusive relationship with yourself